


An Argument About Sacrifice

by mnzknight96



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Loneliness, Other, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 08:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19808086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnzknight96/pseuds/mnzknight96
Summary: Ladybug has had enough. She is tired of Chat always putting himself in harm's way for her so she finally decides to tell him about it.





	An Argument About Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys sorry I left you guys hanging on my other fic but no matter what I write it just doesn't seem right or like it's too rushed. So I've decided to just write. Hopefully, I'll find the inspiration needed for my other fic but for now, this is what I got. I also have another work I'll post soon that I had written a while ago.
> 
> And just so you guys know they aren't texting each other. It's a face to face conversation but if I added all the other stuff, such as gestures and emotions I would have lost interest in finishing this. This is a three-chapter story that I wish to continue but no promises.

LB: I never asked you to do any of those things for me. I have never asked you to give up your life for me time and again. It has always been you who decides to take those hits. To become time-traveling juice. To take a knife in the gut. Burned, drowned, and BLOWN UP.

CN: SHUT UP. Do you think that I do those things by choice? Do you think for one second that when I wake up in the middle of the night I want to do it silently screaming from nightmares as I relive my many MANY deaths? NO, I don’t want to do it but I do it anyway because if I don’t it is the end of everything.

LB: No, no it is not the end of everything. If I was taken out YOU would find a way. Why can’t you see that?

CN: OF COURSE, I see that. I know that when it really comes down to it that I can take down the Akuma without you. I’ve done it enough times late at night when people are violently taken advantage of by regular criminals on a daily basis. 

LB: What are you talking about?

CN: I can’t sleep at night anymore. I wake up in fits or internally yelling and once I get my bearings adrenaline courses through my veins and the fear of my nightmares keep me up for the rest of the night, so I go out and try to tire myself out. The midnight runs, more likely than not, turn into all-night outings dealing with gangs, drug dealers, and in some cases murderers. In some of those times, I have stumbled across a few victims on the verge of being Akumatised and have been seriously tempted to leave their assailant to their own devices and just watch as they’re ripped apart but I don’t. I fight and I do it seriously because these people have gone through truly traumatic experiences making them prime targets for Hawkmoth. The only thing that stops him from Akumatising people like that is he can’t control them. They are people whose control was taken from them and they aren’t about to give it to anyone else. So I deal with them by promising to be better. To help them in the path of recovery before they can hurt innocent people like they have been hurt. I’ve been lucky so far since people who manage to fight it off purify the Akuma themselves.

LB: ……..

CN: Look I’m sorry that you feel completely overwhelmed by me having so much faith in you to fix everything after taking a hit for you but it is so much more than that. Take a second and think about it. Let's say that I stop. That I am there for you constantly and are there to listen and obey your command as we fight against whatever villain we face and during the fight you’re taken down. You get hit and I stop myself because you asked me to and then what. I fight the villain alone as I ignore my heart breaking to tiny pieces because you’re gone. I know you never wanted it and you can reject it as much as you want but in the end, it is yours. And losing you would just be devastating to me. But guess what I did it. I fought off the Akuma and take the possessed item from the Akuma. Oh wait, I can’t purify it and what does that lead to. An entire army of the same villain all at the beck and call of Hawkmoth, I’ll last all of two seconds against those odds and lose. We would have lost and that is the end. 

Shut your mouth, I’m not done. Let's take it further still. I somehow figure out a way to purify the Akuma. Great, I saved the day and while all of Paris worries about cleaning up the wreckage I’ll have to go back to you and retrieve the miraculous. I’ll figure out who you are and once again my heart will break because I’ll have fallen in love with your civilian self once again because she is just that amazing and I’ll have lost you for a second time. It doesn’t even end there. I’ll have to go to your family and friends to tell them you’re gone. I’ll have to look them in the eyes as they yell and cry at me for not saving you. For not taking the hit for you like all those other times and there is no way in hell I could say it was because you asked me to. 

LB: We are superheroes Chat Noir. Possibly dying is just part of our job and the fact that you can’t see past your feelings is one of the reasons Master Fu doesn’t believe you’re ready to be let in on all the secrets of the miraculous. Anyone you care about can be used against you and you would give into the villains demands.

CN: I don’t give a shit about the other miraculous and the secrets they carry. And you should really stop talking about losing family and friends because it seems you’ve never experienced true loss before. And I’m glad about you haven’t because the feeling sucks. It sucks to be the person left behind without any sort of answers which is what you’re asking me to be for you. 

LB: Well, what about you? What about your family and friends? Aren’t you doing the same for them?

CN: …………. You seriously don’t get it, do you?

LB: No Chat, I don’t get it. I don’t get how someone can care so much about other people yet can’t grasp that he should care about himself. Don’t you understand that there are people who would be sad if

CN: NO THERE’S NOT. God, Ladybug you are so blind. Can’t you see that I don’t matter?

LB: YES, YOU DO.

CN: No Ladybug, I don’t. Cause if I mattered I wouldn’t feel so alone. If I mattered I wouldn’t have lost not one but both my parents on the same day. If I MATTERED someone could see the cracks of the PERFECT act I play every damn day as it kills every little joy I have. So no Ladybug, I don’t matter but you do.

LB: Why? Why is it that I matter so much? Why can’t you have the same regard you have for me, for yourself?

CN: Because it’s what I see. I may not know much about you Ladybug but I do know one thing. In your life, you are surrounded by love and affection. As weird as it sounds it’s in the way you smell and in the vibe you give off. When I’m around you I get a mixture of emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. 

LB: Chat, what possible feeling could I cause in you?

CN: The feeling of home. I had felt so lost and alone before we had met Ladybug, and even with you in my life, I could never quite get away from the numbness I’ve felt since the day I lost everything. You make it better but even that has started to lose its effect. 

LB: What am I supposed to do with all that? You can’t just dump that on me and make me the source of your happiness.

CN: You aren’t the source of my happiness Ladybug. How can you be, when I haven’t felt it in such a long time….. I’m just tired Ladybug. I feel like I’m walking in a dark tunnel and every so often I’ll stumble upon these small holes in the walls that allow a little bit of sunlight. They light my way if only a little and it’s because of them that I haven’t given up. They’ve given me the strength to continue when all I’ve wanted to do was give up.

LB: I’m sorry.

CN: Don’t be Ladybug. It’s not your job to fix me or make me feel better. But I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

LB: I don’t know either.

CN: Look it’s getting late and I haven’t had a decent sleep for the last three days. The only reason I’m standing right now is because of energy drinks and a ton of coffee. All stuff I’m not allowed to drink anymore so don’t tell anyone okay.

LB: Giggles. Okay, Kitty, I won’t tell anyone else. And you’re right it’s getting late I’ll talk to you soon, right?

CN: Yeah LB I’ll talk to you soon.


End file.
